After months of troubleshooting, and finally, opening a support ticket with Microsoft this is the fix to our issue:
1.uninstall integration services completely using both the control panel and VS extensions manager. We had to do this a couple of times until "Microsoft SQL Server Integration Services Projects" no longer appeared in the control panel:
2.install integration services 4.6: https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/items?itemName=SSIS.SqlServerIntegrationServicesProjects
3.install the microsoft oracle connectors v1.2 and this is the important part... VERSION SSIS 2022 x64: https://www.microsoft.com/en-au/download/details.aspx?id=104113
we've always tried installing the 2019 versions since that is the version of VS that we are on, but installing the 2022 version to our Visual studio 2019 server fixed the issue. We can now open the oracle components without the error.